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Meanwhile...at the Legion of Doom (Updated 1/5/13)

These are the books that, for whatever reason, I did not finish. In days of old they'd be the books I threw across the room in an angry burst of "...what the fresh hell???" When the book is located inside several hundred dollars of lovely technology, however, they end up here.

Needless to say - this page will contain spoilers.


Pretend by Sharlay
Kindle Percentage: 2%

I think this might be the earliest I've ever tossed a book into the Legion of Doom. I bought it on a whim late at night after finishing another book (Damn you, Kindle Recommendations and your shiny things.) Started it last night. I got a bad feeling when the first page after the ToC was, and I'm not kidding, four pages of author acknowledgments, starting with God. Don't get me wrong, I love God and thank Him almost daily...but a full paragraph of author praise before the start of a book...not so much.

Then I started the story itself. I've said it before, some times, with some books, I can overlook some grammatical issues. Not with this one. I kept reaching for my editor's pen (not good on a Kindle.) And they were fairly extensive - as were the Britishisms. I get that not every author is American - but when I wrote Harry Potter fanfiction, I went out of my way to use Britspeak - not just spelling, phrasing and idioms as well. I expect the same from British authors writing about American characters.

The last straw was the story itself. A one page prologue that I'm sure was supposed to be High Drama...but I had no connection to the characters yet. Not even a few intro paragraphs about her. Just...boom, dumped. Then a jump ahead to six weeks later. Nope.

Check, please.




Significance by Shelly Crane
Kindle percentage: 93%

Yep, you read that right. I got to 93% before I had enough. I'd actually had it by about 50% but then there was actually a little bit of plot/excitement stuck in there and that roused me back to semi-interested. All too soon, though, we were back to "No, I love you more!"

Maggie's about as Sue as it gets and while I normally don't mind a good Sue...this one needed some flaw besides being a crappy friend.  Surprisingly powerful...yep. Unheard of mastery over abilities she didn't even know could exist...yep. Hot and desired and has no idea...yep. Meh times 4.

And yes. I get it. They have to touch to feel better. One has to release the other upon parting. Twice was probably sufficient to get this point across. Reading it every single time? Way too much, even for me.

Believe me, when a self-admitted romance junkie to finds the romance scenes excessive, that's saying something. This one lost me as soon as Caleb started talking about mutuality. Not just sex...super sex. 

Check, please.





Ascend by Amanda Hocking
Kindle Percentage: 51%

I can't remember a time I was more enraged by a book in my life. Ever. This was the first time I actually had my kindle in my hand and ready to throw it.

I'll freely admit it - whenever there's a triangle, I will invariably pick a "Team," for lack of a better term.  No apologies, it's who I am. That said, I'm running about an even track record on picking the winning one; I'm right about as often as I'm wrong. If the girl picks the guy I don't like, that's fine. I'll usually grumble, then finish the book to find the resolution of the plot at least.

That said, the DNF factor on this book has nothing to do with the fact that I was Team Finn. The reason I had blinding rage was the WAY it happened. 

Finn goes to Wendy the night before her marriage, he brings her a ring, a token. They kiss, I sigh in happiness...but Finn is first and foremost about duty and knows she needs to marry Tove for the sake of their people, so he offers her one night. Wendy flies into a rage. Screaming at him like a banshee about how she won't be used like that...etc.

Flash forward a few weeks, Tove goes a little insane from using his abilities. They get him secured...and Wendy sleeps with Loki? Then tells him it's only for that one night?

Hold up, Harry. What? So what Finn offered *before* she was married was horrible, rotten and wrong...is now just fine *after* she's married with her husband sick across the hall? All for a character that was never more than "yeah, baby, you know you want me."

Check, please.

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